BEYOND CAPABLE

There is a story about three frogs that fall into a pit. They began jumping to try to get out of the pit. Other frogs surrounded the pit shouting at them "You are NEVER going to make it! You aren't strong enough. We understand if you just give up. There is no way you will be able to jump out of the pit. It is not even possible." the frogs kept jumping.  "we have never seen a frog jump out of a pit so deep. just quit. stop giving yourselves false hope". two of the frogs gave up and fell deeper in the pit, falling to their death. 

The last frog kept jumping. Now the frog was jumping even HARDER with more boldness and courage than the frogs had ever seen. He looked up and saw the frogs around the pit yelling. he gave one more big push of a jump and leaped right out of the pit. The other frogs could NOT believe their eyes! "How on earth did you jump out of there?! we can't believe you did it!!!!" Turns out, the frog that jumped out of the pit was deaf. He did not know they were being negative. "I saw you all cheering for me and it motivated me to keep going and not give up". 

I love this story for so many reasons.

1.) Our internal words....self-talk (and our talks with the Holy Spirit!) is everything.

2)drown out negativity.

3) Let your biggest haters be your motivators.

4) frogs are cute. 

I have fallen into a few pits in life. (Hills and Valleys...am I right? Sometimes you're the bug...sometimes you're the windshield) and sometimes we jump right out of the pit and other times it is a DEEP pit to climb out of. Sometimes it is SOOOOOO seemingly impossible. I have learned a few things about this - when other people are telling you that YOU can't they are really saying, THEY can't so they don't expect you to be able to either. There are going to be the negative people.....sometimes the very closest people to us. that is hard. the people who are close to us are the people that their opinions matter the most to us...when they don't think we can....that one is ROUGH. drown them out. Don't be a flea -there is ANOTHER analogy about a study of people who put fleas in a jar and put a cap on it. the fleas were trained over time that that was how high they could jump - only to the lid. when the lid was eventually removed the fleas still thought they could only jump that high when in reality they were

out of the jar. doesn't this life do this to us at times? At times life puts a lid on the jar...we don't know what we don't know- Those who think they can and those who think they can't are probably right - if you don't think you can climb out of the pit, you likely won't and if you don't believe in yourSELF why SHOULD anyone else (but thank God when they do!) 

I have been messy...I have slipped into the pits of what feels like hell and I have had to climb out. Each time I come out changed but for the most part unscathed. For ME when people tell me I can't do something it lights a fire in me to show them I will make it despite - but my cheerleaders.....man am I ever thankful for them. I drown out the negativity, I turn my ears to my support system and I lean into God. God removes the lid to the jar. God shows up to the pits. God sits in the fire WITH us and we walk out not even smelling like smoke. 

I am so filled with gratitude that despite all of the mess I have been through (some of it at the hands of others - some of it self-inflicted because I decided to operate my life trying to be the Driver but Jesus please take the wheel!!!) I still have Hope. (Hope = Hold. On. Pain. Ends) I still have dreams. I still have excitement. And although I am incarcerated, I am more free in my soul than I ever have been in my life. 

I really REALLY miss home...The Indy 500 occurred Memorial Day weekend. I used to attend each year. I watched it on the T.V. this year from prison...on my dilapidated headphones tuned into my radio so I could hear the T.V.(if you know, you know.) I was so homesick but so thankful I could watch. I also was signed up for the Indy Mini 1/2 marathon....I was a no show since you know...I'm in prison. can't really show up to that right now. In honor of those events that made me wish so badly I was home, I made the decision to run a half marathon on my own out on the track. I have been running and am in fair shape - I decided I wouldn't let prison stop me. I carbed up the night before. I got good rest and I took Jesus with me. I ran the 13.1 miles on our prison track (52 laps around the track) Back in Feb there was another inmate who I got into a spat with. We went without speaking to one another for months. She was out on the track and she knew my mission. She watched me do the entire thing. It was not my pals out there cheering me on (my bunkie DID run some electrolyte filled water to me like a proud mom at one point. she rocks), it was not the people I would have anticipated being out there cheering me on - it was the person I got into a spat with and was no longer on speaking terms with. We didn't speak for months but it was her voice, "You got this! you are incredible! I am SO proud of you!!!!" It makes me emotional thinking about it right now - don't be quick to write off those you "get into it" with...when no one else shows up, it might be THEM telling you to hang on through the grit when the rest of the world is silent. God is good and shows his hand working all of the time...if we are watching for it we will see it. 

I'm in a pit right now....but I have so much hope in my heart. I am looking for the rainbow through the clouds. It is there. 

I can't wait to see what is next.... 

I love you guys. I miss you......Hold on to your forks. <3